The Human Side of Things: Jasper Whitlock Hale
by JohnGreenGirl
Summary: The tale of how Jasper Whitlock lost his humanity.
1. Jasper Chapter One

The Human Side of Things

Jasper Whitlock Hale

1850

It is Jasper Whitlock's sixth birthday. What he really, _really_ wants is a dog. A hunting dog, so that he won't have to be alone in the woods when he and his father go hunting, but he'd never tell his father that he's afraid of the woods. Jasper is the oldest, and the only boy. If _he _can't help be the man of the family, little baby Phoebe sure isn't going to.

Jasper's day starts with Ma making his favorite buckwheat pancakes and sausage for breakfast. After, Father doesn't even make him help with chores. Instead, he is allowed to ride old Mary Lou, the oldest horse his father has and the one he's been teaching Jasper to ride. At lunch, Ma makes more of Jasper's favorite food, and even makes him lemonade and gives him a piece of horehound candy.

But the best part of the day is just after noon, when Father announces he and Jasper are going to town. "Six years old is a big boy age, little man. Big boys get to pick out their birthday presents." So Ma scrubs the dirt from Jasper's face and out of his honey gold hair and has him dress in his nice church clothes. Jasper does feel like a big boy, getting to ride on the wagon seat like Father instead of in the back.

"Now, Jasper, I know you want a dog," had he really been that bad at hiding it? He tried his best to keep it a secret. He'd only told Phoebe, and she's a baby, so she couldn't have told. "Today we're going to get you one. Mr. Wilson's dog, his big Britney Spaniel? She had puppies a few weeks ago. He knows how much you love playing with Shy, so he said you could have one of her pups." Jasper smiles up at Father with his patchwork of missing baby teeth. Surely, this is the best birthday any boy had ever had.

Jasper names his puppy Johnny, mostly because it sounds like an all right name for a dog and because his best friend's name was Johnny, but he moved to Georgia last winter. Now his new best friend will be named Johnny, too.


	2. Jasper Chapter Two

1855

Phoebe ruins _everything._ This is worse than the time she was getting baby teeth, and chewed on Jasper's wooden toy soldier. It is even worse than the time she had dropped all of the bullets Jasper had carefully made for Father into the well. Because of Phoebe, running through the prairie grass with her hand full of weed flowers, Shadow had spooked. And bucked. And Jasper had fallen off the horse hard, taking it all on his left arm, and now it's broken.

Jasper is so mad; he isn't even scared when Shadow barrels over him, running toward the stable. He wishes Phoebe were a boy, so he could hit her. Ma comes running out and scoops up little Phoebe, who is crying because she knows Jasper is mad at her, and because even she knows that his arm shouldn't be hanging limply and at that angle.

"Are you all right, Jasper?" She asks, helping him to his feet. "No." Jasper's too mad to cry, even though his arm does hurt something awful. How is he supposed to help Father tomorrow with a broken arm? Now he can't even go to the railroad camp, or see the wild cowboys. "Let's go get your father. Maybe he can fix it without having to take you to town."

Even though Jasper is only ten, his father takes him down the way to old man Cole's, who's a known moonshiner. When Mr. Cole sees the angle of Jasper's arm, he doesn't even charge Father. He just hands him a Mason jar full of rank, clear liquid. Then Father takes Jasper to the stable and tells him to take a big swallow, and don't tell Ma. The stuff burns all the way down his throat and explodes like fire in his stomach.

"Why'd you let me drink moonshine, Father?" The stable looks blurry and Jasper finds his feet don't quite work right anymore. "So this won't hurt so badly," he says, and yanks Jasper's arm into place so hard and so fast he doesn't even have time to blink. Jasper knows it hurts, but it's in a detached way. It doesn't even feel like it was his arm that just got pulled. Then Father wraps a piece of cloth around his arm and neck to make a sling.

"I can't take you with me to the railroad camp, Jasper. But I'm leaving this moonshine here in the stable. If your arm gets to be too much, take a sip but no more than a sip. Your ma will tan my hide if she finds out." Jasper goes to bed without eating; he doesn't think he'd be able to, anyway. Father tells Ma it's just because of his arm.

The whole week Father is gone, Jasper sneaks sips of moonshine from the stable. Not because his arm hurts that bad, but because he likes the burn of it in his chest.


	3. Jasper Chapter Three

1857

Jasper and Johnny get to go hunting alone. Father gives him the good shotgun and a handful of bullets. Jasper knows this is a test from Father. If he can hunt alone, than he can take care of himself. And if Jasper can take care of himself, than he can help their neighbor, Mr. Johnson, with his cattle. Phoebe, seven years old and honey blonde like her brother, is crying. She's convinced that he'll never come home and kisses his cheek over and over again. Ma is better, only kissing him once and giving him a canteen of water and some bread and jam for his lunch.

Old Johnny is exactly half the age of Jasper, who is twelve. Jasper is the first boy in his grade at school to go hunting alone. When he told Teddy and James, his best friends, they said they were jealous. Their fathers, they said, would never let them go hunting alone at twelve. It all makes Jasper feel grown up. With an ego the size of Texas, his home state, Jasper enters the woods. _Surely_ he can shoot the rabbit for supper, and the buck father would like to put away for the coming winter.

When, three hours later, he is successful and places the fat rabbit in his hunting bag and slings the deer across Shadow's saddle, Jasper feels ten feet tall.

"Don't be a girl, Teddy," James says, glaring at his friend. Jasper and his two best friends have snuck out of their houses and now stand outside the window of old man Cole's.

"C'mon, Ted. I've been here plenty of nights. Cole's completely out. All we have to do is get one jar, and we'll be heroes at school," Jasper is quickly learning he can be quite persuasive when he wants to.

"Jenna will thing you're Jesus, Ted. Who else would steal moonshine from old man Cole?" At the mention of Jenna's name, Teddy's face goes red and he puffs up his chest. James, the oldest at thirteen, picks up a stick and starts to jimmy the window open. When he gets it pried open, Jasper cups his hands so he can help Teddy, the shortest and thinnest, into the house.

"You have to be quick!" James reminds Teddy, as Jasper quickly and quietly runs across the yard to Cole's bedroom window. If he stirs, he'll give the warning whistle and the boys will run. He only has to stand watch for five minutes, but it feels like a lifetime before he hears James's whisper shout of "We got it!"

The boys run, laughing, to Teddy's barn, where they've agreed to stash it in the hay bales. Jasper produces his father's old flask, and they pour some moonshine inside. At school the next day, they'll show the big boys and the girls, all the people who said they were too chicken to do it.


	4. Jasper Chapter Four

1858

Jasper, James, and Teddy become legends school. But now it is summertime, and Jasper isn't in school. He's at Mr. Johnson's ranch, working on his first job. Baling the hay in the hot Houston sun has bleached his hair nearly white and tanned his skin. He's shot up like a weed, already five foot seven at thirteen, and working with the pitchfork has made him broad shouldered and strong.

On days like today, when the sun beats down so hot, Jasper steals away to the apple grove on the edge of the property. He pulls his straw hat down over his eyes, and naps under the biggest tree amongst the sweet smelling fruit. Unlike every other day he has snuck off, on this day in June, an apple falls on his head. The culprit is not gravity, but Cassia Johnson, Mr. Johnson's daughter. Her hair is darker blonde than his, and her eyes are the same shade as the blue bonnets growing in her mother's garden. She's thirteen, just like Jasper.

"I don't think Daddy would appreciate a lie-about," Jasper hears the words but is more focused on the mouth that speaks them: full and round and the color of raspberries. He's fairly sure that were it not for all the skirts and hoops, he could see up her dress where she's sitting. Instead, he rolls onto his stomach, grinning up at her.

"Lie-about? Why, Miss Cassia, I never knew you thought so lowly of me."

She picks another apple from the tree and bites into it. "Jasper Whitlock, not a girl in this town thinks lowly of you. Not even the big girls." She purses her lips. "I won't tell Daddy… if you bring me candy every week!" With that, she slides from her tree perch and practically prances back to the house, leaving Jasper shaking his head.

But every week after that day, he takes Shadow into town and buys her peppermint candy, her favorite she tells him.


	5. Jasper Chapter Five

1860

_Nine years is a good, long life for a dog,_ Jasper tells himself. Even though he is fifteen going on sixteen, tears run thick down his face. It's early, so early he doesn't think anyone else is awake. He prefers it that way, just a boy and his dog, and he thanks God that nobody is there to interrupt as he finishes patting the dirt above the grave.

The last night of Johnny's life, Jasper slept on the floor beside him. At around three in the morning, he had licked Jasper's face, a final kiss, and before the hour was done, he was gone. That is how Jasper found himself to be in the cold bleak morning of a January day, wishing it were a Saturday, not a Thursday, so he wouldn't be expected to go to school. But he does, even though Phoebe doesn't because she's caught a cold.

Jasper goes inside and washes his hands of dirt and death, his face of tears and grief. He changes into his school clothes and feels the weight of peppermint candies against his hip. Father will be up soon; he'll drive Jasper to school in the wagon if he asks. Instead, Jasper bundles up. The cold walk will do him some good.

The walk to school will be long, he knows, but he just wants to be alone before getting to school. He beats the teacher there, and he builds a fire in the little hearth so the room will be warm when Mrs. Grove gets there. She's really not much older than the kids. Only twenty-five, just seven years older than Rebecca, the oldest in the school. Jasper takes his seat in the very back row, where all the big boys sit, and stares straight ahead at the board.

He doesn't even notice when the door creaks open and someone slips in. It's still too early for Mrs. Grove, and the person who steps just inside the doorway isn't Mrs. Grove. It's Cassia Johnson, wrapped against the cold in a fur-trimmed coat. Jasper doesn't look away from the board; he may be sitting in this classroom, but he's a thousand miles away.

Cassia slips out of her coat, hanging it on the wall beside Jasper's, before quietly crossing the room and sliding onto the bench seat beside Jasper. Without saying a word, she wraps her arms around him, pulling him close so that his face rests against her shoulder. "Cassia…" Jasper lets himself be held the way he hasn't since he was ten and broke his arm. He can feel Cassia's heart beat beside his own, and her hand stroke his hair.

Softly, so softly, she places a kiss against his temple. If Jasper didn't feel so awful, he would have noted that this is the first time he's ever been this close to a girl that wasn't Ma or Phoebe or Grandma or one of his aunts. Instead, all he can think about is the fact that here, with Cassia, he has found comfort.

When he returns home, he finds a white cross in the ground above Johnny's grave, and a fairy's wreath of flowers. He knows it was Phoebe's doing. She used to make those rings of flowers when they were younger, to wear around her head. Now she's made a halo for Johnny.


	6. Jasper Chapter Six

1861

"Happy seventeenth birthday, Jasper," Cassia whispers, he voice as soft as the moonlight. The month is October, and it is indeed Jasper's birthday. His present from Cassia is a kiss, a real one, not like the one she gave him when Johnny died, but an honest-to-God kiss. Maybe it's just his imagination, but Jasper thinks her mouth taste sweeter than the raspberries he likened them to all those years ago.

His birthday fell on a Thursday; candy day as it had come to be known between the two. Only today, when he had given Cassia her bag of peppermints before rushing outside to play ball with James and Teddy during noon break, Cassia had given him something back: a piece of the brown paper bag that last week's candy had come in, with the words 'meet me in the barn' inscribed on it.

So he did. He went to the Johnson barn, which is exactly in the middle between their houses. He found her up in the hayloft, still dressed in her school clothes, reading a book by the bright full moon streaming through the window. Upon seeing him, she stood, and gave him the best birthday present a _man_ had ever gotten.

Just because they were growing up, that didn't mean that Jasper, Teddy, and James ever stopped pulling pranks. One day, after a particularly heavy rain, they caught frogs. And what did they do with those frogs? They slid them into the desks of all the girls at school. Mayhem ensued, but with one bashful smile from Jasper, Mrs. Grove simply shook her head and went on teaching.

It's summer again, and Jasper has just pulled what he thinks is the best prank of all. Cassia likes to swim in the lake. When Cassia swims, she strips down to her under things, leaving a heap of petticoats and hoops and stockings behind. And on a blazing day in August, Jasper takes her clothes, leaving only her hoop skirt because it was too bulky to take along. He does, however, have about thirty five underskirts (but that's just his wild guess), a corset, and her dress and stocking to hide. They end up in the hay loft, where they had their first kiss.

Hours later, when Cassia finds him picketing the cows, there is a smirk on her face. "Trust you to steal a lady's clothes, Jasper Whitlock." He leans against the fence, smiling at her, pride shining from his warm brown eyes.

"Have a nice swim?" She rolls her eyes and kisses him just shy of his mouth, on his cheek.

"I'm not mad. How else will a class-cutting boy like you ever puzzle out how to undo a corset without stealing one?" With that, she leaves Jasper thinking just how _do_ you undo a corset?

Jasper _does_ figure out how to undo a corset, and Cassia lets him in the hay loft the night of her seventeenth birthday. But that's all said and done, and Jasper has exciting news to tell her. You see, in January, days after Johnny died, the southern half of America succeeded. Since then, a war has been brewing between the broken nation, and Jasper has it in his mind he's goin to join the Confederate Army.

He scoops Cassia up from her seat on the ground and twirls her amongst the autumn leaves. "I'm going to be a soldier."

She quirks a blonde eyebrow at him, "And how are you going to do that?" He sets her on the ground and kisses her, hard.

"I'm going to lie."

His plan, you see, is to tell the recruitment officer he is twenty one, not seventeen. He's tall enough, being six-foot-three, and his father has already agreed to it. Mr. Whitlock would go himself, he says, were it not for his wife and Phoebe, who is now twelve. Cassia, however, is nonplussed.

"What if you die?" Jasper shakes his head.

"Such little faith in me, Cassia. I'm not going to die. I'm going to serve my years, and you'll write me letters, won't you? And when I get back, we'll get married." But Cassia is not consoled. In fact, she's _mad_.

"You can't just leave me, Jasper! It's not fair that you can just go and leave and I have to stay here, and never know if you're okay!" And she pulls his face down to his by tugging on his suspenders and kisses him so hard and so long they both come away with bruised mouths.

Even though she hates it, she won't stop him from going. To love is to let go, right?


	7. Jasper Chapter Seven

1862

Cassia does write, and it is the highlight of Jasper's army days. Sure, the fame is nice. He is the youngest general in the army, and everyone knows his name. Still, Thursdays are his favorite day. They have morphed from candy day to letter day, and without fail, there is one from Cassia. He writes to her when he can, but it is becoming harder and harder to find time.

For his eighteenth birthday letter, she sends along a handful of hay. Jasper sits on the ground, grinning wildly at this hay and the memories it conjures, while his underlings stare at him like he's lost his mind.

The army, Jasper decides, is easier to handle when there are letters from Cassia.


	8. Jasper Chapter Eight

1863

Jasper never knew manners could damn you. All he'd done was what any good man would: offer three women stuck in a warzone help. They weren't normal women, though, something he found out when the two blonde ones left and the tiny Mexican girl pulled him from his horse with alarming strength.

Now Jasper doesn't know up from down, left from right. All he knows is this pain, and Cassia's name, which he whispers over and over as if that will save him. The Mexican girl keeps saying it will end soon, but how can such pain have an end?

But it does end, and Jasper finds himself in a very different kind of army. He also finds that his memories of Cassia are marred by one alarming thought: how would her blood taste?


End file.
